Is It Normal?
Question: Katie (15-17) asks…
My mom and me have been doing sexual stuff since I was 8. She feels better than masturbating alone. Is this ok?
Answer: That’s absolutely not okay! That’s illegal and your mom could be jailed for sexual abuse. Not to mention, it may cause you to have some emotional problems in the future. You must refuse to take part in any further such activities, and I suggest you seek counseling for yourself as well as for your mom.
Question: David (14) asks…
Since a year or so I just think about sex and masturbation ALL THE TIME! I mean I just think about having sex no matter where am I, and I’m erect almost all the time! Is this normal?
Answer: Welcome to the raging hormones of Adolescence!
Question: Tim (12-14) asks…
When my sister gets out of the shower and goes into her room to change I watch her masturbate. There is a hole in the door and I can see right between her legs and sometimes she sticks things in her vagina. Is it OK for me to do this? Is it normal?
Answer: Well, your curiosity is perfectly normal. However, I don’t think it’s okay. First of all, masturbation is a private moment. Second of all, it’s your sister — that’s not too cool. I suggest that that hole in the door be fixed and you respect your sister’s privacy.
Question: Jim (12-14) asks…
When my sister and I get bored, we sometimes dare each other to masturbate in front of the other person, or come out with just a wash rag on. Is this OK?
Answer: Like I answered to Tim, above, I don’t think it’s okay to be sexual with your siblings (brothers/sisters) or other family members or relatives. Sure, you’re curious of others, but that should be reserved for girlfriends, not sisters.
Question: Mike (12-14) asks…
Is it normal to want to jump on a girl and try to have sex with her even though she resists?
Answer: Well, this is a very touchy question. Whether or not it is “normal” or not is not as relevant as whether or not it is “right” to do such a thing. Many people fantasize about doing things that are risky or illegal, and as long as these fantasies remain fantasies — and not actions — I don’t see much wrong in that. However, to act out some of these illegal actions — and rape and assault are illegal — there can be big problems. Many couples may act out these fantasies as consenting adults, and it’s just an act. But to force oneself onto someone else is illegal, immoral, and punishable. This is a good example of “keeping your thoughts to yourself” and I only hope that they will not materialize into actions.
Question: A 14 year old asks…
- I dont have a lot of pubic hair, what i do have seems to be the right sort of hair, however i have it untill about a cm above my penis and a width around that. Should I have more?
- My penis is around 2.5-3 inches non-erect, and 4-4.5 inches erect. Is this OK?
- I don’t masturbate much, but as far as I know I can not ejaculate. I have not had a wet dream. Is this normal?
- Finally, I still can not pull my foreskin back very far, and seem to have what looks like a join between the penis head and foreskin about 1cm in. Is this normal?
- Considering that you are only 14 years old, you most likely are not finished growing. The amount of pubic hair you will have depends on your genetics. We are unable to predict the final amount that you will have when you are finished puberty.
- You have a perfectly normal penis size for a 14 year old. Like stated in my first answer, you have a couple more years before you will know what your adult penis size will be. Just remember the average adult penis size is around 6 inches. So at 14, you are almost there!
- Many guys do not have wet dreams. The reason for not being able to ejaculate or have a wet dream is because your body is not ready yet. Give it time, everyone matures at a different rate.
- If the join is on the bottom side of the head, then it’s the frenulum, which is normal. If it’s anywhere else, simply pull it back when you shower and wash the head, this will encourage the join to separate from the head.
Credit: J. Geoff Malta, MA, EdM, NCC Adolescent Therapist