Question: J.C. (12-14) asks…
What is the best way to masturbate? I masturbated while watching myself in a mirror and it felt better. Why?
Answer: The best way to masturbate, if you choose to, is the way that feels the best for you — different people prefer different methods. If you like to watch yourself in the mirror, then perhaps that’s best for you. Perhaps you enjoy it because you fantasize that what you’re seeing in the mirror is what someone else would see if they were in the room with you. Lots of people get turned on when they fantasize that others are watching, and that’s okay. Just don’t force others to see you by exposing yourself or “accidentally” leaving the door open — that’s not okay.
Question: Mike (15-17) asks…
I have started rubbing my penis when I would get an erection a while ago. Is this normal?
Answer: Masturbation (“playing with yourself”) is absolutely normal. The old saying goes: “95% of people masturbate — the other 5% lie about it.” While it’s probably not really 100% of all people, most people do. Now, this is not something you would do in public, but it is a perfectly normal, natural sexual activity that is usually done alone in private. Many boys experiment with this activity together, which is also a normal phase that some boys go through, and it has nothing to do with sexual preference. Masturbation is not something to feel guilty or “dirty” about, so enjoy it in moderation. Many people masturbate once or twice each day, and that’s normal as well.
Question: Brian (14):
I am 14 and masturbate sometimes three times a day — is that normal and what can I do to stop? Also I have masturbated with my friends and when I ejaculate it is not even close to the amount they ejaculate. What is the normal amount?
Answer: Although most boys & men masturbate once or twice a day, there are many who do so more often, such as yourself. There is nothing wrong with it unless it interferes with other parts of your life, like doing homework or meeting friends when you say you will. If everything else is okay, then you don’t really have to stop doing it. If you still would like to cut down, then perhaps you can try a hobby or a sport that will take up some time and keep your mind off masturbating so much. Now, the more you masturbate, the less ejaculate you’ll have — that is, you’ll have more the first time and less the third time. But don’t worry, you’re body replenishes the supply constantly, and the next day or two you’ll have more than enough. Between 1 and 3 teaspoons of semen seems to be a normal amount for the first ejaculation of the day.
Question: Ryan (12-14) asks:
How do you masturbate?
Answer: Well, I won’t answer that it full detail, but let’s just say that to “play with yourself” seems to be a good description of the act. Most boys discover that rubbing their penises feels good, and after a few minutes they ejaculate (“come”) and it feels really good.
Question: Peter (12-14):
When do most guys have their first ejaculate/have an orgasm? I turn 13 in early November and I haven’t had either of those experiences. I know it’s normal and all, but I’m just wondering.
Answer: Most guys probably have their first “wet dreams” around 12-13, or whenever they begin puberty. A “wet dream” is ejaculating while you’re asleep, and it’s the body’s way of releasing extra semen. Unfortunately, we don’t feel the orgasm when that happens because we’re asleep! Now, around the same time, many boys discover masturbation and it becomes a normal, regular ritual with some (daily, weekly, etc). Now, I won’t tell you to do it, but that is when most guys ejaculate for the first time while they’re awake.
Question: John (12-14) asks:
Can you ever run out of semen?
Answer: Well, for all intents and purposes, no. However, if you masturbate many times in one day, you will temporarily “run out” until the next day when your body replenishes the supply.
Question: Matthew (15-17) asks:
I masturbate 3-4 times a day in private, and maybe once or twice with one or two of my friends. The thing is they only play with themselves once a day, am I normal or am I some kind of sicko?
Answer: Well, as you can read from the other responses, masturbating a few times daily isn’t necessarily bad unless it gets in the way of other activities. Now, I assume you don’t mean that you masturbate with with your friends every day also? I guess that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but at this point, masturbating 4-6 times per day may be taking time away from other activities. You are probably in the normal range, although most boys don’t “circle jerk” that often as they reach their late teens. If you’re obsessed with masturbation, or masturbating with your friends, then perhaps you should take up a sport or hobby that will give you something else to do also.
Question: Brad (15-17) has many questions:
I masturbate about twice a day.(everyday) but my penis is uncircumcised and the head of my penis starts to get red. I use lots of lubricant like oil, vaseline and soap etc. to decrease the friction but still gets red. And with my uncircumcised penis, putting on a condom is hard: when putting it on, my foreskin goes back too far down the shaft and hurts. I do put lubricant in the condom and out? Once I masturbated 8 times a day and the 9th time no sperm ejaculated why is that? My testicles on one side hangs more than the other? Why is my pubic hair straight and not curly? My penis size is 7 inches is that big or small? I tried anal sex with my fingers — is that ok?
Answer: You’ve got a lot of questions! Yes, because of the protective foreskin, an uncircumcised penis will be more sensitive. On the bright side, this extra sensitivity can create a heightened sexual response. But on the down side, it is more susceptible to friction. Using lubricants is usually helpful for this. If it’s not helping you, perhaps your method of masturbation is too harsh (too fast or too strong of a grip?). With lubrication, you can get the same, or better, effect being slower and more gentle. Although it’s less exciting sexually, you could masturbate with the foreskin rather than with it pulled back. About the condom, yes, the foreskin can “get in the way” a bit. Here, too, is when you should be slower and gentler. Now this is important: using lubrication with a condom is okay, but a petroleum-based lubrication (like Vaseline®) should never be used when making love as it can make the condom less effect by degrading its strength!
Your 9-time masturbation marathon sure kept you busy! Eventually your body temporarily “runs out” of semen until it replenishes itself in about a day or so. I wouldn’t recommend too many marathons like that, or your penis may feel temporarily sore or puffy. Continuing, many guys have one testicle that hangs a bit lower than the other, and it’s normal. Your pubic hair can be straight if it’s fairly new to your body. Some guys have pubic hair less curly than others, but it should be somewhat kinky (with kinks!) after its growth is well established. Your seven inch (19 cm) penis is on the upper end of “normal” for an erect penis, and if it’s seven inches when not erect, then you’ve been overly blessed! Putting your fingers in your anus isn’t inherently evil, but you must be careful not to scrape yourself with your nails or bleeding will occur. You also don’t want to touch your fingers with anything before they’re washed or you may spread infection. It’s not something I recommend, but if you choose to do this, then wear finger protection.
Credit: J. Geoff Malta, MA, EdM, NCC Adolescent Therapist