Question: Bill (12-14) asks…
What’s this thing called Love?
Answer: Whew! That’s a toughy! Love is something that must be experienced to fully grasp the concept. There are different degrees of love; for instance, the way you “love” baseball, your dog, your mom and dad, chocolate, your girlfriend, etc. To bein love is a total dedication and infatuation with another person. When you’re in love with someone, you accept them as they are, and you would “do anything” for them. Although “love at first sight” may happen, it’s more likely that you’ll “fall in love” with someone over time as you learn about her/him and you realize that you have a lot in common and you want to spend lots of time with her/him. My explanation is probably not that great, as it is a very tough thing to explain in words!
Question: Jason (15-17) asks…
What am I supposed to do if I fall absolutely in love with a girl, and I go nuts thinking about this girl, and I respect her opinion but I don’t know what to do if she feels differently about me?
Answer: I know that’s a tough situation, because you don’t want to be rejected — but if you truly respect her opinion, you’ll have to find out what her opinion is! If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. And you’ll always be wondering “what if…” Trust me, it’s sometimes easier to know that it’s “no” than to not know either way.
Question: Dan (15-17) asks…
I have these feeling for this girl but they’re not sexual. I really like her and want to date her. I found out from her that at one point she liked me too but now considers me a real good friend. I still want to go out with her! What should I do?
Answer: Oh, no! The dreaded “friends” thing! There’s still a chance that you’re not doomed by this — I would just simply ask her out, explaining to her what you just said to me. If she’s truly a friend, then she’ll either say “yes” or “no” without repercussions. She may be flattered and explain why she’d like to remain friends with you. If she really likes you, she may not want to jeopardize the “friend” relationship as most “boy/girlfriend” relationships simply don’t last forever at this point. Just ask her — otherwise, you’ll never know! (I know… easier said than done!)
Credit: J. Geoff Malta, MA, EdM, NCC Adolescent Therapist